missiondeterminant | [Open Post]

[It's not a long time indeed, but to be fair Hank had goldfish that lived shorter when he was a boy and he still loves them deeply. Plus it's easier to say yes to Crab the crab if it's not a lifetime committeemen.]

Okay, sure, what the hell. If you promise me it won't be much of a hassle I don't see why not.

But just so we're clear, this isn't the first step into turning the house into a zoo is it?

I will take care of everything necessary; it won't be a hassle for you.

[He can promise that much. As for the last question, well--]

I have no intention of turning the house into a zoo. Metaphorically or otherwise.

[But once Crab passes on to the great ocean in the sky, he does plan to repurpose the aquarium tank he's buying. That's reasonable, right? Right. No need to mention that.]

[Yeah, he can tell Connor is being a little too specific on his answer. But that's fine, Hank actually loves animals (there's a reason he has Sumo), he just never had the... energy or the will to care for any more. If Connor wants to do it, he's fine with that.

Up to a point.]

Calling him Crab all the time is gonna get really weird really fast though.

You won't need to call it Crab forever; I'll figure out an appropriate name, but I want to make sure I've considered all options.

[All options. All of them. It's a good thing he's a supercomputer because he has a lot of books, websites, and records to scan through, although that's going to have to wait until he's home. He can't exactly buy what he needs while devoting most of his processing power to ~~baby~~ crab names.]

I will be home in approximately an hour. Is Crab still in the sink?

[Because he realizes he should check that, considering they've been talking and who knows if Hank is supervising Crab.]

[Right. Supervising. Nobody told him he's supposed to be supervising. But he figures, and so it's time to check on Crab.]

Yeah, yeah he is. Having the time of his life.

Her life? Its life. Whatever. But I have no idea, can't really tell. But if it's still there it's a good sign yeah?

Yes, that's a good sign. Since I found it on the floor of an aisle at the store, it's likely an escape artist.

[Connor's also quietly relieved that he seems to have mixed the water in the sink to be the correct--or at least acceptable--salinity. It was slightly difficult to do with what was on hand in Hank's kitchen, and also sorry about the dwindling salt supply.]

Then you better make sure whatever aquarium thing you get for him is gonna keep him inside.

I don't wanna wake up to Crab here paying me a visit or something.

[He's... honestly just complaining because it feels weird not to at this point, like if he just goes with it he doesn't feel like himself anymore.]

[Connor takes a moment to consider what would happen if Hank woke up to Crab walking on his chest or something, and... Yeah, let's avoid that.]

I will make certain to get an adequate tank, no need to worry.

[Which he should probably concentrate on doing, so--]

I'll call you back once I'm on my way home.

Sure, I'll call you if Crab decides to take a walk.

[The only text Hank gets in response is a really cute emoji of a crab, but about an hour later Connor arrives carrying a large box containing the glass tank. It's a challenge to navigate safely through the doorframe, especially with Sumo considering the cardboard to potentially be a gift just for him, but Connor does manage it and calls out--]

Hank? I'm back.

Here, Connnor.

[Connor will come to the house to find Hank in the kitchen, keeping an eye on Crab and... apparently holding Sumo's leash.]

Sumo almost got pinched twice, he seems to find the crab really intriguing. I have half a mind to let Crab have a go at him so he learns his lesson.

[Nah.]

[Connor sets the box carefully against the wall and puts a small bag next to it, closing the door behind him and moving into the kitchen. He's briefly torn between checking on Crab and immediately petting Sumo, and it's a terribly difficult decision but eventually he scratches Sumo's ears briefly before moving to the sink.]

I can't fault him for being interested.

[Crab is, after all, very cool. And also seems quite content in the sink, just as Connor had left it, and Connor gives Hank a small hint of a smile.]

Thank you for keeping an eye on it. I will have it out of the sink as soon as I can set up the aquarium.

Sure, sure, whatever.

[Truth is it didn't do much other than threaten Sumo and chill in the sink so it was actually no big deal for Hank. But it kept him distracted. Not that he's actually going to say it out loud, but still.]

Need any help...?

I believe the stand requires some assembly; do you have a toolkit?

[He didn't think to get one, but he's not entirely sure Hank might have any. Surely he's got a basic screwdriver lying around though, right?]

Of course I have a fucking toolkit.

[He grumbles, even though to be honest it's probably covered in dust in the back of his wardrobe. He's not exactly bad with tools, but he doesn't use them all that often either.]

I'll go get it. You need distilled water or something too?

[He's vaguely amused by the grumpy response, but just nods at the question.]

Yes; I didn't want to try transporting it in the taxi, but I will need water as well as salt, in order to create the correct salinity environment for Crab.

[Only the best for his ~~stolen~~ rescued crustacean.]

Well, luckily for you I don't listen to my doctor when he goes on about my high blood pressure so we've got salt to spare.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

You got anything else you need? What does Crab even eat? [Someone's far too excited about something that he's supposed to be grumpy about.]

You go to the doctor?

[He asks it lightly, so lightly that it's obviously a teasing jab, but noted on the salt and also that Hank seems to be warming up to this whole idea.]

Crabs eats a wide variety of sea life, so feeding it shrimp or fish will probably be the easiest choice.

[As for anything else he needs--]

I'll need the toolkit to begin assembling the stand for the tank, then we'll need to fill it, mix in the salt, and set up the filters.

[Then they can get Crab settled into its new home.]

Not everyone’s made out of metal, Connor.

[It doesn’t have the bite it once would have had, but there’s the clear undertone of someone who isn’t happy to talk about his own failing body. He’s actually pretty lucky- considering what he’s put his body through since the accident it’s honestly a miracle he’s still alive. So yes, he goes to the doctor.

Now, that he actually gives a damn about living to see another day.]

Is it me or is it gonna get harder and harder to actually name Crab the more we use that as its name? [He adds as he actually gets going to where the toolkit is. ...Should be. Hopefully still is.]

[Okay, definitely filing 'joking about the doctor' away on his mental 'don't do again' list. But at least he can just focus on talking about Crab's name again, as he begins opening the box while Hank goes to find the toolkit.]

I think it would be if we continued using it for longer than today, so it might be best to decide upon a permanent name tonight. I'll have to do research once the tank is assembled.

[And that research is going to be serious business.]

I know that pets can be given a wider variety of names than humans typically use, but are there any limitations?

[Are there any rules of how not to name a pet?]

[To be fair the list of subjects that will make Hank bristle is pretty long, if Connor were to stay away from all of them their conversations would be cut pretty short. Hank is not a pleasant man, and even though he's aware of it there isn't much he can do to change it.

But at least he honestly likes Connor enough to actually try?]

Nah, go crazy pretty much. I mean, no slurs, probably.

[He'll surely start pressing topics later on, even if they annoy Hank, but for now he's still getting used to everything involved with being deviant and is finding he really doesn't like the feeling he gets--embarrassment? rejection?--when he says something that annoys someone he cares about. Everything's stressful enough already without adding unnecessarily to it.

So he's happy to focus on the issue of Crab's name.]

Pet names are often symbolic of some quality about the animal, right? So maybe he should have an ocean-themed name.

[It’s absolutely not personal, but Connor probably knows that by now. Hank’s too old and too tired to give much of a damn about what most people think of him so he just says things as they are and he sees no reason to hold back when it comes to Connor- he didn’t think so when he thought of him as some sort of annoying puppy-like machine, and definitely not now that he sees him as an actual being with feelings.

But he does feel a little bad about it whenever Connor gets that expression on his face, even if it’s just a second.]

Ocean themed, hm? [Probably a good thing, because he was going to ask what the heck kinda qualities does Crab have.

Great pincers?]

I don’t know. Something like Triton?

[He definitely knows, and most of the time he appreciates it; emotions are difficult enough without having to read into subtle clues and guess at what someone else is feeling because they won't just say it outright. So, most of the time, it's nice to know exactly what he's dealing with when it comes to Hank, it's just those unpredictable deviant emotions that sometimes flare up and make it difficult not to take things more personal than they're meant.

But he's finding the balance slowly, and it's a valuable learning experience anyway, so it's all worth it. Hopefully.]

Triton could work. Neptune as well, or Marinus.

[Or a number of other similarly themed names, so although this narrows things down it's still a lot to choose from.

Naming things is hard.]

Crab is also an Atlantic Blue Crab, so it could have a color-themed name.

[More possibilities!!!]

Huh. [Hank glances at Crab- well, that explains why the colors are so nice. Figures Connor wouldn't get a random Maine Crab or something like that. He may have done it to save the poor thing, but he can be sneaky when he wants to.]

Guess something like Indigo could work? I mean, I tend to like random names for my pets. [Somewhere, Sumo... barks.]

Is it hard, for you, to decide on a name? Or are choices like that easier now?

thank you!

<3!

<3

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sorry about the wait on this!

back at you!

<3

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I'm sorry, will be slow for a short while!

no worries!

thanks!

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